NOUR NOUR NOUR!!!

I was always late, you never afraid, that we could be falling
all our friends would say that maybe we should wait, but they can't see what's coming
and to this day, when everything breaks, you are the anchor that holds me

and that is why we'll always make it
how I know your face, all the ways you move, you come in, I can read you
you're my favorite book
all the things you say, the way you shift your eyes
I never knew there was someone to make me come alive

When the days are long, and the thunder with the storm, can always get me crying
you can make my bed, I'll fall into it, shattered but not lonely
"cause" I never knew a home, until I found your hands
when I'm weathered, you come to me you're my best friend

and that is why we'll always make it

how I know your face, all the ways you move, you come in, I can read you
you're my favorite book
all the things you say, the way you shift your eyes
I never knew there was someone to make me come alive

And when we're making love
I'd give everything up for your touch

How I know your face, all the ways you move, you come in, I can read you
you're my favorite book
all the things you say, the way you shift your eyes
I never knew there was someone to make me come alive

And when you go to work, all the day I wait
for you to come home, recount our time, in our little place

I made her smile, I made her cry
Cleared her head and made her wonder why
I helped her live, I made her want to die
But she can't complain, she can't complain

She tried to date a friend of mine
I was at his house when she came to say goodbye
He stood her up and she took it as a sign
But I can't complain, I can't complain

We took off for the weekend, had quite a time
Shared everything we'd ever tried
I told her I could love her, told her I could lie
So she can't complain, she can't complain

She didn't care if she saw me in her life
I left it up for her to decide
She couldn't see the end, neither could I
So I can't complain, I guess I can't complain

She moved here, bought the first house she could find
I moved in, we locked ourselves inside
I guess we just kidnapped each other's minds
So we can't complain, we can't complain

I cheated on her with a friend of mine
There are no days when we don't fight
But remember, I warned her, and I'm a guy
So she can't complain, no she can't complain

She knows she can't complain
She can't complain
No, she can't complain...

No, she can't complain, she can't complain
She can't complain, she can't complain
No, no, she can't complain, she can't complain
She can't complain, she can't complain
She can't complain

Well I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just want to look some more
And I won't be satisfied 'til there's nothing left that I haven't tried
For some people it's an easy choice
But for me there's a devil and an angel's voice
Well I don't know what I am looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more

Well I don't know what I'm living for
But I know that i just wanna live some more
You hear it from strangers
And you hear it from friends
That love never dies
And love never ends
I don't want to argue
No, I don't want to fight
'Cause you're always wrong
And I'm always right
Well I don't know what I'm living for
But I know that I just want to live some more

I used to be involved and I felt like a king
Now I've lost it all and i don't feel a thing
I may never grow up
I may never give in
And I blame this world that I live in
I visit Hell on a daily basis
And I see the sadness in all your faces
I've got friends who are married and their lives seem complete
And here I am still stumbling down a darkened street
A darkened street

And I act like a child
And I'm insecure
And I'm filled with doubt
And I'm immature
Sometimes it creeps up on me
And before I know it I'm lost at sea
But no matter how far I roam
I always find my way back home
But I don't know what I've been waiting for
But I know that I don't wanna wait anymore

I've been stressing a lot lately. I hate that I can't even speak my mind. I don't know what to do.

Things keep getting more and more complicated and difficult.


"When temptation claims your reason, know that misfortune is about to strike."

Nowadays it seems like everyone is so disconnected from each other and their surroundings. You can’t really talk to anyone about how your feeling but not because they won’t listen. They’ll listen, they’ll even pretend to care and understand but really they don’t. We have become so self-centered that we can barely sympathize with anyone. I think that’s part of the reason I still have a live journal; although most of the time I feel like I can’t say everything that’s on my mind here. But I think, subconsciously, I keep putting my feelings on here in the hopes of someone reading my entries and understanding. I know there’s the whole “ to be great is to be misunderstood” shit, but I want to be understood. I want to feel like I’m not alone. Everyone is trying to reach out to someone, anyone who’ll listen just hoping that they’ll find that inner peace or some sort of guidance. Everyone is terrified, alone and just looking for a sign telling them what to do next.

I’m scared, I’m terrified, I’m alone and I don’t know where to go from here.

I wish someone would pull through for me, just once.

A lovestruck Romeo, sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"

Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack"
He's underneath the window, she's singing
"Hey, la, my boyfriend's back
You shouldn't come around here, singing up people like that
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?"

Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet, that you exploded in my heart
And I forget, I forget.. the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me, as if I was just another one of your deals?

Well, you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah
Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know
I used to have a scene with him"

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, "I love you like the stars above, I love you 'till I die"
And there's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything, but I'd do anything for you
I can't do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, and the bad company
And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme
Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you 'till I die"
There's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

A lovestruck Romeo, sings the streets of serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Find a convenient streetlight, and steps out of the shade
He says something like, "You and me, babe -how about it?"

All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are


I just wanna be the one<3

Leaving to Beirut.
I'm tired.
Won't be able to talk to anyone the next 4 days.
Might meet up with Adrienne.
Maybe I can sleep on the way there?

I'll wait a little longer for Brendon to sign on. About 15 minutes.

SO TIRED.

I miss Roula :[

BUT things have been super duper fun :]

Yasser is here :D

Im a combination of happy and frustrated. Im trying to focus on the happy part though!

My heart is aching :/

Last night was Nadia’s wedding, it was generally a really nice wedding. I was pretty tired the whole night though :[ and Dima accidentally left her camera there…. oh well :/ Nadia looked incredible. I ATE OCTOPUS!!!!! It tasted like nothing lol I think they could’ve prepared it better :/ The food was pretty yummy. What’s not to love about a buffet? We were super obnoxious on the way to the wedding, it was fun :] All Nadia’s friends went to Nadia’s house first then we went to the wedding with her.

I have like a million more weddings :[ I strongly dislike weddings. If and when I get married it will be an elegant and peaceful gathering. And I’ll do it during the day. I don’t know. lol

So I’ve been really enjoying the class on spiritual diseases of the heart. Its completely accurate and its surprising how many I have. So far we’ve taken arrogance, pride, vanity, gloating, love of popularity, love of the limelight, love of leadership, anger, envy, grudges, jealousy and competition. Competition isn’t considered a bad thing when its controlled and not over petty things. I’m really glad I’m taking this class. We talk about the symptoms, causes and the cures. I think I’ve been trying to force some of the ideas onto other people. I guess I got so wrapped into how terrible having some of these things are that I expected everyone else to feel the same way. Its like I expected them to do something without even explaining why I think they should do it. I got too eager. The cures for all these things have to come from within a person, its not something you can force. I am slightly arrogant, I love being popular, I enjoy competition, I get jealous and I let it manifest itself and I hold grudges. I’m really, really trying to get rid of these things. Its really hard lol But I already feel better. I’m already starting to change my attitude.

I msged Chantelle today. Thats a grudge I've held for too long. I really cared about her and i realize now that the key to lasting relationships and friendships is forgiving. I do miss her. I probably wont be good friends with her again BUT we can talk occasionally.

Purification of the heart is hard work! :P

Yasser comes this Friday :]
I’m excited to say the least.

Oh and I love the book I’m reading right now even though I barely have time to read it :[ Atlas shrugged by Ayn Rand, incredible.

I love everyone :]
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don’t feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home

Cause, I built a home
for you .. for me

Until it disappeared
from me .. from you

And now it’s time to leave and turn to dust

Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it’s knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me

Cause, I built a home
for you .. for me

Until it disappeared
from me .. from you

And now, it’s time to leave and turn to dust

Sometimes I forget how blessed I am to have certain people in my life.

I've said it a million trillion times before and I will most likely say it a million trillion more times, I love Brendon.

I miss Roula :[

OH & I have a job interview thing at a radio station. VERY COOL and Im very excited!

peace, love, empathyyyyyy<3

I finished all my exams so why do I still feel so uneasy?
Why cant I sleep?


& Why am I obsessing over things I have no control over?

I guess I just wish I could change everything.

What I want from this
Is to learn to let go
No, not of you
Of all that is old
Killers re-invent and believe
And it leans on me, like a rootless tree

I feel terrible.
I didnt do good on my final today.

:/
Bad timing = my whole life.

I cant stand about 95% of the worlds population.
I find myself hating more and more people everyday.

I need new friends.

I've been fighting with my parents A LOT lately. Pretty much over nothing. They just look for anything to scream at me about and usually i just take it all in and just ignore it. I dont know. We're in a really big fight and i just dont feel like apologizing because i did nothing wrong :/ I probably will anyways. My big brother told me its pretty much how they are and they would do the same shit to him and for me just to apologize and move on because they wont be changing anytime soon. Hes right. I'm secretly crazy jealous of him for having moved out when he was 18. I just wish i lived alone about 75% of the time. I can deal with getting lonely. Feeling lonely is just a small price i have to pay to get away from my parents.

I'm thinking about taking a semster off next year. I probably wont do that though. But im thinking about it.

I need to stop fantasizing about my future and deal with reality.

Time to go study and hate my life! :D

You said you would be my dream. I could have you every night
and if, by morning, I had forgotten you, well, no big deal, it would be all right
'cause you are the reoccurring kind.
You are the reoccurring kind.
You never really leave my mind.

<333333

So today I wrote a song for you
Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say theres something wrong

So Im trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I dont know even where to start

Maybe thats a start

Cause you know its a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you are hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you wont land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway youre not here enough to care

And youre so tired you dont sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end

And its strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands

And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
Youre standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move you

and things are going pretty well :]

omg, he got me this dress that is TO DIE FOR!
Im usually the type to think I look ugly BUT this dress, just woah!
He got me 3 dresses :] all black & semi-short and some flats and some heals and everything ever!

oh and CANDY<3 :]

Hes been really great, hopefully he wont remember hes mad at me lol

I GOT MY BOOOOOKS :D

im done for now..
BYE<3